For guys: 5 ways to support her while she’s pregnant
She didn’t get pregnant by herself, so don’t let her be alone now. Though you probably know you need to “be there for her,” here are some specific ways to do just that – be there for her, show her support, and reduce her stress (and yours, too!).
Listen to her feelings and fears
Ask her how she’s feeling on a weekly or even daily basis. Ask her what she’s scared about, what she’s excited about, what she’s unsure about. And when she tells you, really listen to what she has to say. She’s facing lots of physical, hormonal, emotional, and life changes that she likely has never experienced before. Being a listening ear for her goes a long way in showing her that you are “there for her.”
Then, after you’ve listened to her thoughts, share with her how you’re feeling and what you’re unsure about. Communication is always important, but it’s so important as you’re going through pregnancy together.
Help her without being asked
Think about her daily and weekly routine, and what you can take off her plate to make her life easier. How can you go out of your way to serve her and anticipate what she needs, without her asking you for help?
Here are a few ideas:
- Carry in the groceries (or better yet, offer to do errands or run to the store for her)
- If she’s experiencing morning sickness, keep her stocked on Ginger Ale and crackers.
- Offer to give her a massage
- Help her with daily and weekly chores or things she does around the house
- Ask her what she’s craving and surprise her with take-out or a meal
Tell her she’s beautiful (and don’t mention her size or weight!)
It’s hard not to be self conscience of your weight and appearance during pregnancy. Don’t make it worse by commenting on her weight or size changes as the pregnancy progresses! Instead, remind her that she’s beautiful at least once a week. It goes a long way!
Go to as many of her appointments as possible
Being available to attend prenatal visits and ultrasounds is a great tangible way to be there. Don’t make her have to nag or remind about appointments; instead, make arrangements early and often to be there for as many doctor’s appointments as you can. Your presence will be comforting, supportive, and reassuring to her.
Educate yourself
Do your own research on “what to expect when you’re expecting” so you can anticipate how to best serve her and help her. Taking charge of your own education will be a great way to make her feel understood, loved and supported!
There are many great resources available to you, such as the American Pregnancy Association, state health departments, Baby Center, and our very own website’s section on pregnancy.
At North Care Women’s Clinic we have male client advocates who have helped hundreds of men in your exact situation. They understand your concerns and fears, and are here to support you. We offer appointments for you and your partner with a male and female team of client advocates, who are here to help you work through this decision together and make sure both of your voices are heard and understood.
These appointments are free of charge. We know this can be a stressful time, and it often helps couples to have a neutral third party to enable them to hear each other out; to really listen.
